Bender's Blog

Rock’N’Roll, Wormholes, Clandestine Government Cover-Ups, Parallel Universes, and Badly Brewed Tea

How To Tell If Your Teacher Is A Mad Scientist

SIGNS YOUR TEACHER IS A MAD SCIENTIST Instead of dissecting a frog, your teacher insists you bring it back to life using a couple of electrodes and a dusty old device called “The Thingy.” The short janitor, who happens to always assist your teacher, seems to be concealing a hunch. Your teacher insists on students bringing in a brain to keep “for rainy days.” Some of your classmates begin to disappear. Your teacher says “they’re being educated now by their families,” but won’t let you inside the storeroom. The new student, Frank N. Stein, looks suspiciously like six of your missing classmates. Your teacher mumbles something dangerously close to “Fools! I’ll destroy them all!” When alone, your teacher spontaneously explodes into maniacal laughter.


“Is our government covering up his story, or is he schizophrenic? I don’t know. It could be both. If Bender was schizophrenic, the parallel universe theory may also help us understand schizophrenia. Schizophrenics commonly witness other realities–other beings in their presence. They often hear voices, smell things, or have other hallucinations, as we are tempted to call them. But these may not be hallucinations after all. They may be distorted witnessing of other realities, the kind that could appear in parallel worlds.”